Take a break, already!

Some days I feel overwhelmed. I know all the steps – get up, meditate, do some yoga or move my body, connect with my family, eat healthy food, make sure I drink enough water, read something uplifting, avoid social media, work on improving myself... blah blah blah. And there are days when the act of doing is too much. When the right choice for me is to allow myself to rest, to regenerate, to turn off all the voices that are saying: do more, do the ‘right thing’ (anyone know what that is??), get it all done because if I don’t, who will?

How you regenerate is up to you. For me, it looks like making sure I have some time without any other people. I happen to be mostly introverted. I don’t see introversion as a flaw or something that I need to fix; it’s a valid way to be in the world. And, it requires different recharging strategies that someone who is more extroverted might choose. As a person who requires quiet down time in order to function well the rest of the time, making space to sit with a good book and an excellent cup of coffee, or doing some colouring or art, or taking a walk outside (preferably not in an urban setting) are all good choices for me. For a person who is filled up with the presence of people, maybe making time to have friends around for a great dinner or a games night, doing arts and crafts with your kids, having a date night, or attending a sporting or cultural event might all be good ways to recharge and refill your bucket. You might have to play around with different options until you find the right fit, and you might find that strategies that worked in one phase of your life no longer serve you as well as your life circumstances change.

For those of you trying to raise young humans, I think that taking time for yourself as an actualised individual adult is exceptionally important. In the early phases of parenthood it’s easy to forget to do stuff just for you – or maybe you really want to but don’t see how to fit it in along with the other (new) demands on your time. That said, as the adage goes, it’s impossible to pour from an empty cup. Parenting is uniquely challenging, and we do not live in an era where it is a communal activity, for better or worse. This reality means that we have to be creative in finding support for ourselves as individuals and as the people raising the next generation. If you have a partner, create opportunities to connect. For my partner and me, that looks like movie night, or going climbing, or (when life allows) going for a hike somewhere remote. Maybe for you it looks like watching the game together (or playing it!) or eating out or cooking a special meal together. Especially if you’re doing the work of parenting alone, know that wanting and needing time for yourself is normal and good – it doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad parent. If anything, taking the time (and money if needed) to refill your own cup will enable you to show up as the parent you want to be.

For everyone, parents or not, the work of sustainability starts with each of us. Getting in touch with our own values, with our own desires and purpose in the world is necessary work that takes time. Time when we are not working for pay, or working to get ourselves back to work tomorrow, or working to support the other people in our lives, but time just for us. Take a moment. Take five! Better yet, take the time to plan in your recharge time in your schedule so that you don’t have a breakdown before you notice that you’ve forgotten your own needs in the middle of managing everything else.

Like this? Find me on Facebook :) I'd love to hear what you think.

""by by and by is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0